I've never read Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, maybe I should.
But I can tell you right now, the basic animalistic behavior of men and women easily falls into my dog/cat theory.
Keeping this in mind, here's a quick shortcut to approaching and physically nurturing women.
Men. God I love them!
Simple creatures, they don't require much for happiness. They're happy to see you, they like food and a pat followed by a good sleep.
Women? Oh god help us all!
The complexities of women is both outstandingly beautiful and incredibly difficult to understand.
And once you understand one woman, the next you meet is entirely different.
So what snow cone's chance in hell does a guy have with pleasing a woman?
Treat her like a cat.
If you're a cat lover you'll understand rule number one above everything else is, Be Patient. What happens when you come in directly to a cat? They run. But if you sit, maneuver your body to an equal vulnerability, she'll creep towards you to check you out.
Be careful not to be too submissive or she'll think either something is up, or see you as a lesser being and attack you. 😉
Married guys I know what you're thinking, "I've already caught my cat".
But if she's not purring for you, here's a diagram I found on good ol' Pinterest.
Single fellas too, this is pretty much how to give physical attention to a woman in the most coolest image I've ever seen
(once she's already hopped on your lap of course).
A bit of a bum rub could turn into some heavy petting. Enjoy the lols!
Meow for now.